Okay, so ever since my roommate moved out of our huge appartment
due do the fact that we were on the verge of killing each other
after sharing it for about 10 months,
I've tried convincing myself the apartment is
somewhat smaller than it actually is. How have I done this u ask?
By shutting the door to one of the rooms
and pretending like it does not exist.
This room has become the place where I stuff everything
I don't know what to do with.
A.k.a clothes I've grown sick of
and a collection of movies and books and just various crap.
I know, I know, you could just throw the shit out but come on.
I'm lazy and I know it.
Anyway, I decided to go through some of the clothes in there
to see if I could find anything worth using once again. Turns out
most of the clothing I've stuffed in there had been retired from
my wardrobe for a good reason, so no such luck. I did however
stumble on to something that I had forgotten about. A t-shirt.
Not mine, it belonged to someone of the opposite sex. But this t-shirt
comes with a story. And being the generous me that I am I think I'm gonna
share it with you...
This was last winter.
Me and my roommate had just moved here
and went out for some partying and maybe more. The truth?
We were both kinda looking for some lovin for the night and being
the dancing queens that we are, it didn't take very long for the guys to
start trying to put the moves on us. But since part of the fun is
teasing the poor blokes we sticked to dancing for a while first.
As the night went on one particular guy caught my attention
and we started dancing. One thing lead to another and while
we were kissing on the dancefloor suddenly this guy lifts me up
and carries me off the dancefloor and up against the wall.
I can't even begin to explain how hot this was. Just take my word for it.
HOT. HOT. HOT.
So as you've probably figured out by now, we left.
Took a cab and went back to my place.
But since there was alcohol in the picture
he had some difficulty performing, if you know what I mean
so I tried "raising" the heat again with my hands,
and just when we were getting the heat back,
what do you think he does...?
Gets. A. Little. Too. Hot.
Oh yes. Show's over. Before it even began.
Imagine having found the perfect pair of stilettos,
then finding out they don't have them in your size.
But then! Like a miracle, they find an extra pair stuffed away
somewhere. You put them on, stand in front of the mirror
sooo happy! And then the heal suddenly breaks.
That's how I felt. He was so hot, and then sooo not.
I was sooo disapointed and not very good at hiding it.
Didn't actually try to be honest with you,
I just mumbled something not so nice and then just went to sleep.
And before you start critizising me about being a bitch to the poor
guy I really have to say that had this been someone I knew
I probably would have handled it more delicately but seriously!
It was a one night stand!!
Woke up the next morning only to find he was gone.
But...he had apparently been in such a hurry to leave (who can blame him,
talk about embarrasing moment) that he had left without his t-shirt.
I later found it at the end of my bed but slightly hidden
so I can understand why he couldnt find it.
I can just picture him now, trying to find all his clothes while terrified
that the evil girl will wake up before he has time to leave.
Then having to escape without his t-shirt. Brrr, cold!
Then next dilemma. Since we took a cab to my place
he probably had no idea where he was or how to get home.
Hope he had money for a cab at least =P
The t-shirt has now been thrown away. I didn't really wanna
risk mr Skydiver finding it and asking who it belonged to.
This story doesnt really show the best side of me...
In conclusion?
Think it's safe to say that one nighters
don't always go as planned.
So please!
Share with me your worst sexual one night stands!
Either here or in your own blogs. Just be sure
to tell me so I can read it!
due do the fact that we were on the verge of killing each other
after sharing it for about 10 months,
I've tried convincing myself the apartment is
somewhat smaller than it actually is. How have I done this u ask?
By shutting the door to one of the rooms
and pretending like it does not exist.
This room has become the place where I stuff everything
I don't know what to do with.
A.k.a clothes I've grown sick of
and a collection of movies and books and just various crap.
I know, I know, you could just throw the shit out but come on.
I'm lazy and I know it.
Anyway, I decided to go through some of the clothes in there
to see if I could find anything worth using once again. Turns out
most of the clothing I've stuffed in there had been retired from
my wardrobe for a good reason, so no such luck. I did however
stumble on to something that I had forgotten about. A t-shirt.
Not mine, it belonged to someone of the opposite sex. But this t-shirt
comes with a story. And being the generous me that I am I think I'm gonna
share it with you...
This was last winter.
Me and my roommate had just moved here
and went out for some partying and maybe more. The truth?
We were both kinda looking for some lovin for the night and being
the dancing queens that we are, it didn't take very long for the guys to
start trying to put the moves on us. But since part of the fun is
teasing the poor blokes we sticked to dancing for a while first.
As the night went on one particular guy caught my attention
and we started dancing. One thing lead to another and while
we were kissing on the dancefloor suddenly this guy lifts me up
and carries me off the dancefloor and up against the wall.
I can't even begin to explain how hot this was. Just take my word for it.
HOT. HOT. HOT.
So as you've probably figured out by now, we left.
Took a cab and went back to my place.
But since there was alcohol in the picture
he had some difficulty performing, if you know what I mean
so I tried "raising" the heat again with my hands,
and just when we were getting the heat back,
what do you think he does...?
Gets. A. Little. Too. Hot.
Oh yes. Show's over. Before it even began.
Imagine having found the perfect pair of stilettos,
then finding out they don't have them in your size.
But then! Like a miracle, they find an extra pair stuffed away
somewhere. You put them on, stand in front of the mirror
sooo happy! And then the heal suddenly breaks.
That's how I felt. He was so hot, and then sooo not.
I was sooo disapointed and not very good at hiding it.
Didn't actually try to be honest with you,
I just mumbled something not so nice and then just went to sleep.
And before you start critizising me about being a bitch to the poor
guy I really have to say that had this been someone I knew
I probably would have handled it more delicately but seriously!
It was a one night stand!!
Woke up the next morning only to find he was gone.
But...he had apparently been in such a hurry to leave (who can blame him,
talk about embarrasing moment) that he had left without his t-shirt.
I later found it at the end of my bed but slightly hidden
so I can understand why he couldnt find it.
I can just picture him now, trying to find all his clothes while terrified
that the evil girl will wake up before he has time to leave.
Then having to escape without his t-shirt. Brrr, cold!
Then next dilemma. Since we took a cab to my place
he probably had no idea where he was or how to get home.
Hope he had money for a cab at least =P
The t-shirt has now been thrown away. I didn't really wanna
risk mr Skydiver finding it and asking who it belonged to.
This story doesnt really show the best side of me...
In conclusion?
Think it's safe to say that one nighters
don't always go as planned.
So please!
Share with me your worst sexual one night stands!
Either here or in your own blogs. Just be sure
to tell me so I can read it!
11 comments:
LMAO! That is horrible! I feel bad for even laughing, but that was freaking funny.
No one nighters for me, but I likes reading about on nighter mishaps. At your expense, not mine. hehe
I lived with a good friend of mine for two years and things ended badly. It took another year for us to speak and get back on good terms. Fighting with roommates suck.
But being lifted up and thrown against a wall when you re drunk is hot!
MsP
Bad one night stands for men?? LOL
Ooooh... the ol' cleaning the gun trick and then it suddenly backfires on you. So brutal!
My one and only 1NS ended with me getting up at 5am, going downstairs and knocking on my housemates door, then when she didn't answer, ringing her phone to let me in her room. I then slept in her bed until he left.
That's as much as you're getting. And it was him who had embarrassed himself by the way, not me :D
This happened a long, long time ago when I was young and childless...
I lived in a ski resort for four months and one night took home a tourist guy from Sydney. He wasn't really doing much for me, but I stuck with it for a long time.
In the end, he tried to take my bra off but fumbled so I told him to leave it on. Then when it got down to the do the business, he seemed to have trouble holding his erection.
I was bored and my patience had worn thin, so I told him, "Wake me when you get your act together." and walked upstairs to my bedroom and left this poor guy on the floor of the loungeroom with his limp sausage.
how rude of me! I look back and think how mean that was.
Kelly: feel free to laugh, I know I have a lot after that incident =P
oh, no one nighters huh? ...don't I feel like the big slut suddenly!
Mspuddin: you're right about both of those things =)
Mark: yeah...or do you think that was his favorite (almost) one nighter? =P
but sure, mostly any one night stands for u guys are good ones I guess. "sometimes I wish I could act like a boy" =P
so@24: haha, that was a good way of describing it! and yeah, brutal it was =(
marky: I aim to please!
jo: haha, that's funny. poor guy waking up in your bed and not knowing where u gone off to :P
betty boobhug: noo, that wasnt rude at all! like I said, when it's a one night stand u don't have to be symphatetic when shit like that happends. no guy would be if the tables were turned! tnx for sharing!! =)
My one and only 1NS (There were what could be described as a series of one night stands with one guy, but that doesn't really count):
Picked up at a uni party, were both very drunk. The sex was actually ok, he had a hot Scottish accent, it wasn't too awkward after. The fun starts- now.
Two days later, when I'm hideously hung-over, there's a knock at my door. Turns out it's One night stand guy, done the responsible thing to come back and tell me he thought the condom had broken, and that I should take the morning after pill. Fuuuuuuucccccckkkk. I had other dramas going on, I really didn't need that as well. Turns out he'd walked home the night we got it on- about a 2 hour walk, as far as I could work out. The kicker? He had a girlfriend. Woops. I really didn't want to see him again... but he gave me $100 for the pill, which only cost $40... so essentially, I was paid for sex that night. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.
The 'picking you up and putting you against the wall thing' made my chia giggle.
VERY
HOT
I imagine a guy would never be able to walk again if he tried that with me.
I was thinking about doing a post like this, so i'll save mine, but Kylie just posted on her blog about riding a guy who fell asleep mid shag.
She just did her thing, got off and left him.............in the park!
I really need to get me some new friends.
Amanda: ouch! first pregnancy-scare and then he also has a girlfriend??!
I hope you bought a pair of shoes for the rest of the money =P
Bottleblonde: haha, I wiggle when you use the word chia =P
Steph: can't wait to hear your horror story! poor Kylie, that can't be fun =P but at least she made the most of the situation!
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