The ex-factor x2

One of the more sucky things about seeing someone
or even having a boyfriend really is that sooner or later it often
ends in that person becoming an ex.
It's the bitter truth and we all know it.
Thankfully, most of my previous boys don't
live anywhere nere here so it makes things easier.
Don't think I've mentioned this but I used to live in a crappy
small-town, but almost a year ago
I decided it just wasn't enough for me, quit my job
managed to get an apartment with a friend in the big city
and just took a chance and moved, no job or nothing.
As you've probably guessed it paid off.

Back to my story.
A certain ex of mine who is currently living
in said crappy town has now decided to move.
I'll let you take one guess on where he's decided to go...
Yep, he's coming here...
Can you tell how syked I am about this?
No? Good, you couldn't be more right.
This is bad. Like, maybe this isn't the city for me after all.
Maybe I should move? Screw the fact that I love this city and
basically everything about it,
if he's moving here maybe I should reconsider...

Now, I know I make him out to be a complete monster
but that's not the case. It's just...just complicated, okay?
For starters, we have quite the history between us.
We were a couple for 4 ½ years, starting when we were only 16.
Though we had a lot of great times over the years
there was also the constant drama. Long story,
don't really feel like sharing the details right now.
Anyway, I finally realized I couldn't go on like that.
I loved him, I did,
but I just wasn't IN love with him anymore
and so I broke up with him.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

After this we've tried the whole friendship thing
but somehow it just isn't working
and I've felt quite relieved not to have him close by.
Guess that'll all change now.
Why!!!??
Why can't he pick somewhere else to move??
I know what will happen and all I got to say is Hello drama...
If I'm lucky maybe he'll even move in next door to me.
That's what he did the last time.
I had lived in my new apartment for just a few months
and out of nowhere he chose to move into the house next to mine...
Oh, the joy...

I did write ex-factor x 2 in my headline
and that is cause at the same time as this is going on
another ex decides to rear its ugly head.
I dated this guy for maybe 2 months before the summer
before he suddenly out of the blue
wasn't feeling the sparks between us
and so we called it off. (a.k.a he dumped me)
Did decide to meet up soon cause the idiot
had given me his spare keys to his place.
I figured he'd call me about them but do ya think he did?

He did contact me in june to tell me he made a mistake
in dumping me and he wanted me back.
Idiot actually thought he had a chance of getting me back.
I played the part of the icequeen and simply asked
when he'd be wanting his keys returned.
I then started my skydiving
and after a week met a certain Skydiver.
Still have the keys in my purse.
Last week however he finally asked for them
and since I was superbusy (yeah right...) all week
we decided to do it this week.
I can't say I'm looking forward to this either.
Though as you can imagine I have no choice
but to look drop-dead gorgeous when we do meet.
If we actually do meet that is,
guy hasn't called me yet this week.
If I had his adress I would mail him his stupid keys
just to get rid of him...

But even if the exes are a huge headache most of the time
and sometimes make you seriously consider celibacy
there are some things that makes it worth it.
Like waking up next to a hot boy
who has his arms around you.
Last night, tonight and probably tomorrow night too.
Me likey a lot!!

V.I.P - That's me!

I am so tired!
Party on Saturday. V.I.P since the club we went to
was being organized by a boyfriend of one of my girls.
This meant our own table
packed with tasty coctails and sparkling wine.
As you can probably imagine we got pretty wasted.
As usual, lots of dancing took place.

At the end of the night we were all up dancing on the tables.
My feet are still in pain from dancing in my new stilettos all night.
Someone even came up to me while dancing just to
say that they were amazed of my dancing in those heels.
And it was so worth the pain!
Such a great night. 5 am I crashed on my couch,
yeah that's right. I didn't even make it to the bed.
Well, not until the stupid sun woke me up
and I dragged my ass into the bedroom, close the blinds
and the door and slept til 4 in the afternoon.

Won't be partying for a couple of weekends now,
I'll be at the dropzone hoping to complete my 5 remaining jumps.
By the end of september I must have my A-certificate.
I'm just hoping the weather won't fuck up my plans,
the wind here these days really isn't meant for skydiving...

Oh yeah, found out what Mr Skydiver
had planned for my birthday. He is taking me scubadiving =)
I had told him I eventually want to achieve a certificat for that too
and apparently he listened to me!
We couldn't do it this weekend though as he had planned.
He couldn't find an instructor, so we'll do it later.

Okay, switching topic now.
I've been having these really annoying dreams lately
( I know it's completely irrelevant to the rest of the world
but it's my blog so you can either read it or not.)
which is totally fucking up my sleap!!
I keep dreaming I'm ill, like fatally, need lots of surgery
and still probably wont make it- ill.
So I figured I'll try and find out what this really means
and searched an online dream interpretaion thingie.
They gave me this answer:

Perhaps you are wallowing in your own self-pity.
You need to quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Tnx a lot.
And on that note, I'll be getting back to work now.

Later!

Tuesday, and we're one day closer to the weekend!!

Okay, so no wild and crazy poledancing for me this weekend.
(saving that for next weekend)
Instead I accompanied some friends to the Casino
where I had planned on loosing some money.
Instead my wallet was packed with cash by the time I got home!!
Never thought I was such an amazing
pokerplayer did ya, huh huh??

Okey, I admit it. I'm a crappy liar.
I actually suck at poker. I won the money
in one of those slot machines that are almost always occupied
by grannys who spend hours at the same machine
with a bucket of coins between their legs.
But not this time granny!!

When I realized I had actually won what would be about 50 USD
I naturally proceeded to push the "cash out" button
but instead on starting to spew out coins at me
the machine said to call an attendant.
One came over and guess what??
I actually didn't win 50, no no,
I won 50 x 5!! I walked away from there with no less than
250 USD!!
(to the rest of you that might not be a lot of money,
but to me it's a fortune. At least this month.
I got more bills than I've had in like forever, so back off!)

Think I'll celebrate my winnings with a new pair of shoes.
I told Mr Skydiver about my plans for the cash.
He started counting my collection of shoes
and then he just shook his
head in disbelief and told me I was crazy.
Good thing I didn't tell him
that I have more than the ones he saw...
He would never understand, boys never do.

Oh, that's right.
Better inform you guys
that I've gone off the single market again.
Apparently the ideas I had about things being shitty
between me and Mr Skydiver were all in my head.
And I know I've said it before but trust me when I say it's
worth repeating. He's HOT!!
But you know what that means don't you?
Chances of him turning out to be a complete asshole
are that much higher...
But, we'll see. I'll keep you updated of course.

Lessons learnt during the weekend:

# I'm a better bowler when pissed off.
Went bowling with a friend and her boyfriend on Friday
and I don't really remember exactly what he said
but I know it made me furious. I took out my agression
on the poor innocent pins and suddenly bowled strike after strike
after strike after..well you get the picture?
This coming from the same girl who last time I bowled
threw the bowling ball behind me instead of at the pins.

# Apparently I suck at poolplaying
(or billiard or whatever you wanna call it)
and loosing to a guy pisses me off so much I could easily
bowl 10 strikes in a row. Mr Skydiver whopped my ass yesterday.
Next time we play I'll make sure he's drunk, or that I am,
don't really know which alternative would be best.

Later!

Freaky Friday

I got a comment from miss Bottleblonde in my last post saying:

-Let me get this straight. You are a young, thin and limber hot girl who has no problem contorting herself to demonstrate her flexibility? Am I the only one in the room who notices the irony here - that you are dating only ONE guy?!

That got me thinking and I decided she's absolutely right!
(and also the way things are going with Mr Skydiver I
think that number just went down to me dating zero guys)

So now I'm "open for business again."

In addition to what Blondie just said about me I have a hot ass,
big boobs (real, I might add)
and sometimes I suspect I might be a nymphomaniac.

I actually have very high standards for potential dates but
reviewing the most recent guys I've been involved with
I can say that if you have muscular arms or nice abs
those standards usually go out the window
as soon as you take off your shirt...

And hey, why not? Girls are welcome to play too.
I don't seem to understand guys so maybe I'll have better
luck with the girls? But you better be hot.

Any applications for a date can be sent to stiletto84@blogspot.com

Think I'll go out tomorrow. The goal is for
me to get incredibly drunk and dance until my feet starts bleeding.
Won't be too hard though, don't take much alcohol
for that to happen and since I only go out dancing in
shoes that make my feet bleed at the mere sight of them
I guess I'll be barefoot on the way home or grab a taxi as usual.

Note to self before going out tomorrow:
ERASE Mr Skydivers phonenumber in the interest
of sparing myself the embarassment of waking up on Sunday,
going trough the Sent Messages-bin in my phone and discovering
the drunken messages I sent him that sounded sooo good
in my drunken state but in the bitter daylight makes me look
like a complete lunatic. Which I am.
But no reason for him to know that.

Have a great weekend!
Make sure you drink a lot,
dance on the tables or around the occasional pole,
locate the hottest person in the club
bring him/her home and have loads of crappy drunken sex
that you'll regret in the morning when the person
next to you looks nothing like the hottie you spotted the night before...
Kick him out and then order a pizza.

Ciao!

Kids, don't try this at home!

I really should not be blogging right now. I should be busy working,
actually have a lot to at work these days...but it's just sooo boring!
...and did I mention that my boss wont be coming
by the office anything this week?
That equals me doing my job for about 30 % of the time, what I do with
the rest of the time is an unsolved mystery.
But in my defense...okay I don't really have a defense,
I'm just a bad person.

And apparently I am also a way more clumpsy person
than I could ever imagine.
Just seconds after I wrote that last piece up there
I had the brilliant idea of showing my co-workers exactly how
far up in the air I could stretch my leg. (don't ask why)
Now, you're probably thinking I pulled something while stretching
but nono, I used to dance so I'm pretty limber.

BUT,

in some weird twisted way, somehow, don't ask me why,
I managed to hurt my wrist. I think I kicked it,
again don't ask me how. And since I have very weak wrists
it don't really take much for them to fail on me completely.
So now I'm stuck with my left hand being completely useless
and wrapped in a white elastic bandage.
I had no idea just how annoying typing with only
one hand could be. Writing this post took me like forever.
And now because I am handicapped my 30 % will naturally
drop to maybe 15. Pure logic.

Well, one more hour. Then I can leave this place
and go do more fulfilling things...yeah as if!
I'll be spending my evening doing laundry.
I am almost at the point now where I'll be forced to go
to work either naked or wrapped in my bedding
since that will soon be the only clean thing I'll find in my apartment.
But hey, could make for an interesting workday.
Some companys do have Casual Friday but since
everyday here is casual maybe we could have Naked Friday instead?
I'll run that one by the boss on Monday. Maybe I could do it naked?

Boys give me headache

Fuck. Think I'm well on my way of fucking this relationship up
before it's hardly even gotten started.
Or maybe it's him or not me, I don't know. I only know
that something doesnt feel right. Small things that maybe aren't so
small, but actually rather important. I don't know how to handle this.
I'm lost. Fuck.

Pity me, please do.

I think I broke the record in sneezing yesterday.
And no, i'm not exaggerating one bit. Would I lie??

Came down with this stupid cold on friday and from there
it only got worse. I got myself a new best friend this weekend,
his name is aspirin and we have gotten very close. Maybe he can replace
one of my other supposedly good friends,
namely the one who seems to have forgotten that
said sickie turned 23 last tuesday. I still havent heard from her!!
That's bad right? And that's coming from me, I have the memory
of a senile goldfish and I have some experience in forgetting
friends birthdays. BUT, while I may forget
to give congrats on the actual date
I ALWAYS, with no exception, suddenly remember
and correct my horrific mistake within maybe 2 days.
Tomorrow she will have had a week to step out of the senile state
she apparently is in nowadays.
She is coming very close to being cut from my christmas list...

As I suspected I finally got to see my hot Skydiver this weekend.
He has planned a surprise in honour of me getting one step closer
to wrinkles and getting generally uglier....I wanna be 18 again...
Whoops, got a little sidetracked there.
Anyway, he has something planned for 25th or 26th
and the only thing he has told me is that I can't be hungover.
That's a bit much to ask, don't you think??
I mean we are talking about a sat or sunday here,
who is not hungover then??
It cant be skydiving since I have yet to complete
my trainingjumps and get my A-certificate so now I'm very curious.
Even if I don't know what to expect just yet
I still think it was a great thing to give me something like that
rather than something material.
We havent been seeing each other for very long
and gifts are always tricky in the beginning.
Thankfully his birthday was in june so I don't have to worry
about what I'll get him. Well, not until christmas anyways
and maybe by then I will have gotten bored with him.
...I'm such a bitch.

By the way, I'm still sick, feeling like crap,
looking exactly the way I feel and where am I?
At work. I am stupid. That's all I have to say.

Cheers!

Missed me?

Okay, so I'm back from my week-long trip to Iceland.
It's been so great to finally have returned there.
I mean, it's been 8 years since I was there the last time.
Back then I stayed for the entire summer,
working with my cousin at a park, took a trip to London
for some serious shopping (gotta love the sales)
and also managed to loose my virginity to an icelandic guy named Garðar.
That's an okey summer, wouldn't u say?

Anyway, back to this trip.

First of all I know I might get hated now for writing this
but since I don't even know if anyone reads this crap I don't care.
All u fat people, stop flying!
Okey, that was a bit harsh. But at least could you start paying
for two seats at the plane or maybe we could have a fat section??
Just as long as I don't have to sit next to you.
Same goes for all you smelly people.
Feels so good to have gotten that out of my system.
Feel free to hate on me now. It's okey, I can take it.

Besides hating on fat and smelly people
I have been to the Blue Lagoon (if u ever visit Iceland
make sure you go there, it's really nice) and covered
my face in the white Silica clay that is supposed to be great for the skin.
Although while I was wearing that white mask I felt more like
Charlize Theron in "Monster". But I worked it.

Finally, I can also say that I have tried
out the partyscene in Reykjavik and unfortunately
I have to say I am a little disapointed. Not beacuse
I didn't have fun, cause I sure did without a doubt!
But because I had expected more, at least when it comes to
the places we went to. They were a bit small.
But if we igonore the size of the clubs I loved it.

We started our Saturday at the brother of a co-worker
of my cousins on and off-boyfriend. Do ya follow?
Played an icelandic drinking game (alcohol is the universal language)
and then some Singstar where I kicked some serious ass.
Me and my cousin then proceeded to the first club
stayed there for a couple of hours dancing provocatively
with the co-worker and his brother and then onto the next one
doing exactly the same thing here until 6 am sunday morning.
The fact that said brother has a girlfriend
wasn't all too obvious when we were dancing...
Me in front of him dancing all stripper-style,
cause that's what I do when I'm drunk
(okey, who do I think I'm fooling? I always dance like that)
let's just say he seemed to appreciate it a little too much.
Down boy, down.

My Visa was very pleased with the night as well.
The only money I spent was the junk-food I ate before
I decided to call it a night/morning/lunch, whatever you want to call it.
The rest of the night got taken care of by the guys.
But I now feel obligated to make a statement.
I usually don't do this. I'm always paying for my own drinks
when I'm out clubbing here in Sweden. I'm not one of "those" girls
who let the guys buy the drinks for them and then just disapear.
But that's Sweden, this was Iceland and I felt quite poor.
Do you know how much they charge for a Smirnoff Ice
or a Bacardi Breazer in Reykjavik?
Too bloody much.
And these wasn't just some random guys either.
They had the pleasure of our company the entire night.
Stripper-style dancing included for the both of them.
You should be so lucky.

Said brother then got ordered home by his girlfriend.
He even tried kissing me before leaving.
My guess - he went home, had some drunken sex with his girl
with the lights off and pictured it was me he was doing.
The male sex is so predictable sometimes.
And yeah, I might sound self-centered and shit
but had you been there you'd know what I mean.

Me? I only picture myself with a certain skydiver
whom I have yet to see since returning to Svíþjóð. (sweden in icelandic)
He's working late this week and I start at 8. Not a good combo.
I might have to wait til the weekend. On Saturday
me and the girls are going to dinner and party to celebrate the fact that
me and another girl turned 23 this week. Yeah, that's right.
On tuesday I became one year older...don't really get why that
is something you should celebrate but hey a party is a party.

Later!